DD pie on a Jet-Ski

Captain and I awoke on his first off day after his return to work, with little plans for the day. When I entered the shower we had only plans to help our neighbor move his mom. When I exited the shower apparently we had plans to go jet ski riding. Oh, I didn't mention my pain level had been on the rise and was very high that day. Also I am not the strongest of swimmers, a two year old has better odds than I do in a water emergency! To be honest, I didn't want to go at all, and to be even more honest, I still didn't want to be there when we were getting onto an inflatable matchbox of a boat! Sometimes Kiddos DDpie wishes she could say no and not feel like the biggest jerk Bword in the world. Advise time, Locals get big discounts on everything, and visitors get huge savings if you agree to watch a timeshare video online and take a survey about it.
Where was I? Right the boat takes us out to the (I cant think of the word right now but) "floating jet-ski base" far off shore where we are to pay and learn how to use a jet-ski. The guy at the counter asked if we want pictures to document my awaiting torture, and of course I mean why wouldn't I want further proof of my limits. But I tried to buck myself up, right until Captain informed me that I would be driving the jet-ski at some point. (Driving a car is horrifying, but now a floating motorcycle that is powered by a propeller that will cut Captain's arm or leg off if I make a mistake, wonderful!) Then after our very short intro to jet-skis we get handed life vest, mine ended up being way too big ( I am 5'1 in heels on a good day) I asked about it two times and was reassured. Then after posing for pictures that I swear I tried to smile for, we were off on our jet ski into the unknown.
Advise time again, if you have headaches, migraines, or anything that hurts you should take lots of Tylenol with you if you ever attempt this. The water was so choppy that we would fly in the air only to come down right on top of another wave, I am ashamed to say that I cried on the back of a machine that was specifically designed for fun. Captain has some hearing loss from the army, not that you can hear anything at the speeds we were going, but he thought my crying was laughter and kept woohooing! That sweet man didn't know I was hurting until he slowed down to hear my answer to a question. I begged him to forgive me for always ruining his fun. To that he smiled and kissed me, then told me I was his best friend and just doing anything together makes him happy. (oh I know im a big jerk right?) So I strengthened my resolve and determined myself to have fun.
And I did, well in between the times I was crying that is. Ok the way to switch drivers is to have one person go to one side and the other to the other side. That went smooth every time, but my first time driving not so much. I chickened out and made him drive again. A couple minutes later I decided that I had enough of sitting back there and I was going to drive!!! And I did, and it was fun, I am a much better driver than Captain. PS we fell off three times, all when he was driving (yes! I am the victor). Remember that lifevest I mentioned? Well it was over my ears while I was in the water and if I had relaxed my arms I would have slid out of it. Unfortunately the way to get out of the water is on the back where the propeller is, which according to my knee is very sharp.
Advise time again again, DO NOT wear a bikini bottom while doing this, Let just say that those behind me got a good view of “the moon”